InitiallyNO's blog

Wanting to be important

I went crazy for nearly eight months. By crazy I mean I believed in something that wasn’t real.
I fought though, fought to get paid work, fought for changes I believed had to happen. But instead of fighting for changes that were a reality, I fought for things that didn’t exist and when I applied for work I no longer filled in the application form in the normal manner. What I believed was happening to me took precedence. That’s when you know you’ve been crazy. You know all you were fighting for wasn’t worth the effort. The effort of fighting for what isn’t a reality is merely a destructive action.
I wrote things on footpaths and I put stickers on posts around the place, saying things against pirating of DNA and use of human body information in microchips.
Now I know experiments exist in the world that do use DNA and microchips and if you ask me whether I still disapprove of it, I’d have to say not to the extent I did. For I created a world of dangerous nanotechnology where my DNA was being used illegally in microchips. There were other people who were also being used and the threat to them was as much as it was to me. The difference between me and most people is that I’d had an operation while going for surgery to have my wisdom teeth removed and during that operation samples of my body energy were taken in the form of frequencies. Those brainwave frequencies that recognised say a needle going into my skin were then overlapped with instructions of various kinds. It was an experiment gone wrong, because it meant I was made aware of what was going on in the field of DNA and microchipping before I looked it up on the net.
If I’d been sane at the time I would’ve thought the idea to be fodda for a science-fiction novel or two, but alas I went into the idea like it was non-fiction, in other words I went crazy.
I suppose there are people who go on alcoholic benders for eight months. I haven’t ever done that. Closest I got to going on a bender was when I smoked marijuana at age twenty-four and imagined I was having a great time when things were actually quite rotten. Subsequently after that bender I started hearing voices and having tactile hallucinations. So I don’t think marijuana is a harmless drug, particularly if you get addicted and smoke it nearly every day.
My days of experimenting with mind altering drugs are over. I’ve had enough mind altering experiences for a life-time and while a few of them have been fun, they’ve been a disaster for my career. People just can’t trust a person that goes crazy. Well, it’s not easy to trust them. Or they can be periodically trusted. Which is a terrible thing for me to admit because it means that my skills are untrustworthy.
There are people who believe in things that aren’t real that aren’t exactly crazy, because that’s perception then. For instance people can be duped by a confidence trickster, they can be duped by a cult or religion as much as they can be duped into studying something because they believe there is a career in it and that falsely inflates whatever is being studied into becoming important. There are ways like that people can be lead astray. But at least they are duped alongside other people, at least what they’ve imagined to be true was a shared experience and therefore not quite as crazy as making up a whole belief system yourself then getting lost in it so far that reality isn’t where the sense is anymore.
I’ve had several episodes where the craziness has lasted months. I think there was a period where it lasted years even, but when I’m sane and sensible again I look back and just wonder what the hell my mind was thinking. Perhaps that’s why it’s called losing your mind. The part of the brain that minds what you think loses the plot of reality and becomes focused on what should only be experienced as a reality while fast asleep.
I hope I never go crazy again, or if I do, I hope it is for such a short time that I don’t do anything like apply for a job during that time. Jobs for people who believe in crazy things are not readily available.

Rainbows aren’t a crime

If you can’t charge a person with a crime,
What right does the community have
To make them do time?
I’ve done time for suicide,
Time for travel fatigue,
Time for being bullied,
Time for grieving too.
When will people get it.
When will they see.
It’s not okay to drug me
And lock me away without a plea.
What’s my crime?
Charge me with an offence.
Don’t say that’s irrelevant
Because that’s not making sense.


Coercive control

You must comply
Or we’ll stick our nanoprobes in you
Wonder what Startrek
Was talking about and who
When they wrote the Borg.
They want a hive mind
With a leader in control
In square space-ships
When humanity wants to be free
To think and create
To experience visions and explore
In their holograph machine
To get wrapped up
In whacko plots
And think about the unknown.


I’m trying to find a loop-hole
In these loopy laws
That say that that torture
Can be used
On people who do not abuse.
I’m trying to find a way
That will say that’s not okay.
I’m trying to say what’s sick
Are the people who treat
With an order by our law
That puts the community
As the authority
When the general public
Doesn’t know
About what happens
Behind those white-coated doors,
Where chemicals are injected
And people are not listened to
Rather told that they must agree
That they must comply
And if they don’t
They’ll be dosed up
Even higher than before
Perhaps then some ECT
Or if it comes to it, psychosurgery.


Protection and duty of care

Not all members of the community
Are aware that they can anytime
 Call psychiatric services
On a person who
Has a history of attempted suicide.
The public probably wish
They could call that needle sticking team
On the sleazy man in the bar,
The angry neighbour who yells,
The junkie who says ‘Fuck off’,
The beggar who asks for change,
The boss who tells them they’re fired,
And the stranger who disses them.
Can they?
Well only if the person
Has had a psychiatric history.


Human rights abuse

An outline from an expert on the cult of psychiatry and its forced drugging, false imprisonment and torture
The psychiatric system currently is a cruel, damaging system of punishment, which does not help, rather wrecks, causes trauma, frightens and crushes those who have committed no crime, yet are forced to become involuntary patients to experimental ‘medical treatment’ that causes them physical harm.
These patients are told they must be agreeable to treatment and they must agree with the doctor’s diagnosis. Any complaints are ignored. Brain-washing wears the person who is in a vulnerable state down to the point where they become hypnotised by the cult of psychiatry.

Those people

Those people steal things
They peddle lies
To make money
They constantly move around
So they don’t get caught.
They wear silly gaudy clothes
They stick pins through their nose
Those people don’t do anything
They’re pointless eaters
Who are ugly to look at
And dangerous like animals.
Those people are loan sharks
They cause us to be poor.
They won’t marry us
They think they’re better than us.
Those people...



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