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Tears of Ice and Snow

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I wrote this poem on January 4th 2013, to describe the day when I had a breakdown. It was on my 15th birthday when I had what they might call a mixed-manic episode. I guess for some it would seem like I felt akin to Sylvia Plath or Virginia Woolfe; I had reached breaking point, and escaped into an engineered madness of which I now have no desire to re-awaken. It was at first diagnosed as schizophrenia because my delusions were so intense, and the mania so profound (now more a mood disorder/manic depression). I hope you all like it. I cried twice when I read it over. It helps to write this out, and to realize how far I have come from it.

"She" is in reference to my mother, who also has mania or schizophrenia. My mom was well enough then, and drove 6 hours to my boarding school to bring me a b-day present of an angel hovering over children, and I had started to become manic with crying fits of sadness and was endlessly tormented by pain. Though I have recovered I feel sad that I had not seen my mom nor acknowledged her because I was so ill. I know how to love someone despite this blessing & curse. We are all afflicted with our own version of reality. Thank you for reading.

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