Gratitude Journal

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 I have tried reading books about my illness and anti psychiatry (i find it very hard to read on drugs) , i have also tried audio tapes and relaxation tapes and techniques. meditation, a meditation course, breathing exercises, massage, many self affirmations (on laminated cue cards so i remember) and now group therapy as well as occupational therapy and so on. 
I realize it could be true that i am trying to express a kind of perfectionism which is unnecessary for my development and recovery. However i am not sure that is really the case.
I also keep a gratitude journal which i have only started writing recently. Believe it or not its working! I feel like i am better off for doing it. I am looking for things to be grateful for and finding a positive side to life. Really its true.
To prove it- I was recently in a car accident (not my fault) and now the other driver says its my fault so i have to go to court. I went to the police yesterday after taking anxiety medication and they couldnt help, it was too late. so i am going to court and normally this would really screw me up. However i am deciding to be grateful and turning it into a positive thing. It was only my journal that reminded me to do so and now i feel less daunted and screwed up. I might not even need my anti anxiety medication, although i do throw up when i am anxious.
I'll write later how it goes.